Breaking Hearts
by Cadence of my dying Breath
Summary: Maybe they're just better off alone.


**Playlist: Mae-Someone Else's Arms, **

** Paramore-Emergency**

**Disclaimer:I don't own Clary or Jace, but the story is mine. **

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><p>"You forget Jace. That I've seen you cry way too many times, when you deserved nothing of this kind. I can see right through your bad boy act because I actually know you." Jace was parked outside Clary's house. He'd originally come here to console with her. But then he turned into the jerk he so often portrayed. He said some things he didn't mean. But Clary wasn't fazed. She's seen this all before.<p>

"Clary stop acting like you know me. Just because you saw me cry one time, doesn't mean you know me. You know what? This is stupid. I shouldn't have come here."

Clary was disappointed in Jace. They used to be able to talk to each other so well. Now everything has fallen apart and she doesn't know why. What could have possibly changed things? They used to be such great friends. She used to know this golden boy so well.

"Jace wait." She followed him out of her house and off the front porch into the driveway. "Jace." She grabbed his arm and turned him around to look at her. "Jace, don't close up on me. Talk to me. I don't judge. You know me."

He sucked in a breath. "She broke up with me. I gave her everything and she _left_ me. I wasn't even a jerk towards her. I actually liked her. But she left me. I was better off breaking hearts. I should never have entered a serious relationship." Jace saying that was like a blow to Clary. She didn't know why, but it hurt. She tried her hardest not to let it show. She was here for Jace.

"Did she say why?" He shakes his head. Clary pulls Jace into her. She hugs him. She notices how her heart beats faster. That's never happened before. She's confused; even more so, when she feels Jace tense. She pulls away. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." He disentangles himself from her. "I have to go." Clary nods. She's still confused. Why so suddenly are things different between them?

Jace wonders if it's possible to already be falling in love with someone else so soon out of a relationship. He immediately thinks it's impossible. He was too invested in his previous relationship to blow it off so soon. He drives away. He sees Clary watching him drive away. His high beams only make her eyes shine brighter.

She was everything a guy could ask for and she wasn't his. When Jace had first met Clary, he didn't know who she was. They were both fourteen, at the time. It was the summer before their freshman year. She had followed Jace into the woods behind their houses. She found him crying. When he noticed her he tried to hide the tears. But he'd gotten lost in her eyes. They were curious, not pitying. Nice. He found himself spilling his heart out to this girl he didn't even know.

He told her about his abusive father. How he had just recently moved in with the Lightwoods and how he still didn't know how to live a normal life. How she was the first person to have seen him cry since the first time his father hit him. He told her how he wanted to be a good person but he didn't know how. He told her how, no matter how hard he tried, he was a jerk, and a bad person and he always would be. She didn't say what he thought she was going to. He thought she was going to disagree with him. She didn't. She said something only Clary would say. She said, 'If you insist.'

Jace had never met such unforgiving eyes that were, at the same time, so understanding. Clary was the type of girl who wouldn't forgive you until you forgave yourself. Yeah, she's made mistakes in her past once or twice. It wasn't anything new. She wasn't perfect and yet she was. And Jace couldn't understand why she's all he thinks about.

Jace's girlfriend did give him a reason as to why she was breaking up with him. He just didn't want to believe it. She said that Jace was hung-up on Clary. Now he sees that what she said was true. There was no denying it. He loved her. He was in love with her.

And she didn't feel the same way.

What Jace didn't know about Clary was that she and Sebastian had recently broken up also. Clary thought everything was all good. She couldn't have been happier. But all the while, Sebastian was growing feelings for someone else. She told him it was okay. She was better off anyway. Sebastian hadn't been her best choice. He was mean to everyone. And no one understood why Clary, such a sweet girl, could date such a jerk. It was unfathomable. But no one saw what Clary had once seen in Sebastian. He hadn't always been an ass. Something had changed in his demeanor. Clary and Sebastian had never been a couple to talk. Sebastian always had something better to do with his mouth than talk. He was always taking her to the edge to push her too far. He never failed to piss her off.

He only wanted to get in her jeans, it seemed, the last few months of their relationship. He became aggressive and angry, though he never hit her. He had never lain a hand on her, and for that, Clary was grateful. She was glad he had broken it off because, truth be told, she was afraid to.

She hadn't told anyone. Not even her best friends Simon and Izzy. They seemed to be busy these past few weeks. They thought their relationship was secret, but Clary had figured it out as soon as it started. They were always busy on the same nights. She decided not to push it. They'd tell her when they were ready.

She hadn't even talked to Maia in a while. She and Jordan had finally patched things up. He told her it wasn't his fault he had to move away. He had broken things off because he thought it would be easier. He never wanted to hurt her. He did anyway, and it took Maia some time to get over it. But she did and they were able to continue their relationship. There was never anyone else for him and their probably never would be.

Clary wished her life was that easy and everything was all good. But things were complicated, naturally. And to make it worse, she had these underlying feelings for Jace and she knew he wouldn't feel the same way. He, himself, said he was better off breaking hearts. It wouldn't be hers.

Clary walked into her house and went to take a shower. Her mother wasn't home. That was typical. Luke didn't live with them yet because they couldn't decide on which house to live in. They'd been married for three months after dating for three months. They said it was obvious the way they felt about each other would never change. Why wait?

Things weren't as easy as they thought it would be. They didn't argue, but they disagreed. Luke wanted to stay out on his farmhouse. Jocelyn didn't want to put Clary through another move.

Clary thought this disagreement was dumb. Why couldn't they live here during the school year, and live on the farm during the summer. In a few months, it wouldn't matter. Clary was going off to college at NYU, and she wouldn't be home anyways.

Clary had no one to talk to, but she was used to it. She would live. It just hurt sometimes that Jace only came to her when he wanted to talk. They hardly ever hung out anymore. They weren't as close as they were before. She remembered how Jace had been surprised to discover that he and Clary had met before. She had seen him the first day he came to live with the Lightwoods. He had been in such a shock, that he hadn't noticed anything those first few days. He had felt bad. He'd just ignored everyone while he took his time settling in. It had been almost a week later when Clary followed him into the woods. Clary recalled his confusion when she said, "If you insist," instead of disagreeing with him that he was a bad person.

Jace was everything a girl could ever dream of and if Mariah couldn't see that, then she was blind.

When Clary got out of the shower, she checked her phone. She had two new text messages: one from Simon, the other from Jace.

Simons read: 'Clary there's something I have to tell you.' (Though that was her translation, she had a full keyboard on her phone so she didn't need to use txt LNG.)

She replied: 'If it's that you're dating Iz, I already know.' She waited for his reply. He would be surprised, no doubt.

He never failed. 'How did you know?'

'You guys are my best friends. How could I not have known?'

'That's feasible.' (Again, basically.)

Clary read Jace's text than quickly sent a reply to Simon: 'Hey I gotta go. We'll talk about this later. XD'

Clary took a breath to calm her mind. How could she reply without seeming too eager? 'Yeah, I'm still up. You can come over.'

Jace didn't reply and Clary thought he had already gone to bed. She'd missed her chance again. She went downstairs and turned on the T.V. She hadn't watched anything in a while. She turned on an old movie: _How You Love Me Now. _The story plot was so cliché. Two friends grow up together and help each other through the tragedies of their lives. Somewhere along the line, one of them loses the game. One of them falls in love. Things change drastically, and things fall apart. But they pull through in the end, and they live happily ever after.

Clary doesn't notice the direct comparison to her own life. She only watches it because she is a hopeless romantic. It was never really bound to happen in her life. She was never really meant to have her happy ending. Besides happy endings were stories that weren't finished yet.

She watched the movie in contented silence. She tried her hardest not to think of her own life as she watched Cassadee's life unfold. There was a sudden knock on the door. Clary hadn't been expecting anyone so she dressed in her norm: tank top, boy shorts, and soccer socks. She would never wear this apparel outside the house.

It wasn't hard to guess who was at the door. It was Jace, of course. He had with him a bag of food. Clary stared at the bag intently. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until then.

"I'm hurt. Does the food look that much better than me, your loving best guy friend?"

"Shut up, Jace. Food is food. Now get in here and gimme."

"That's what she said." Clary blushed. What the hell is going on with her? She never blushed. Clary was a hard core chick thanks to Isabelle. She never blushed. She never got flustered, and she was always in control.

"Whatever. I'm hungry." They walked into the kitchen. She got out two plastic plates. She hated washing dishes but they didn't have plastic cups so she'd have to deal.

"I reinstate what I just said." Jace smirked at Clary.

"Whatever," She said again. "What did you bring?"

"Our favorites." Jace's smirk turned into a genuine smile. Clary smiled back. She remembered the little ritual they had. They used to come over to each other's house and chow down on hot wings and french fries. They'd watch whatever action movie was on and just chill. They hadn't done this in a while.

Clary looked at the food now arranged on their plates. "Angel, Jace. We need more time. Can you believe college is in a few months? Where did our lives go?" Clary looked down.

"_Angel, Clary._" They hadn't called each other angel in as many years."Let's use the time we do have." He picked up his plate and went into the living room. Clary sat beside him. They sat close and Clary became suddenly aware of what she had on.

"Damn, Jace. Why didn't you tell me I was showing off the goods?"

"Relax Clary. I've known you for years: I've seen you in less clothing. I've seen you in just a towel that one time. Besides, I didn't notice."

Clary looked at him. "Whatever."

Jace had the remote and changed the channel incessantly. Finally he saw that the Ben Ten Movie was on and he settled. So they were a little childish. In about six months they'd both be out on their own. No parents to put up with their childish behavior. No one to clean up the messes they made at home, at school, personally. No more guidance. In a few months, Jace and Clary and all their friends would face college.

Clary finished eating and put her plate down. Jace was done, too, she noticed, so it would be safe ground if she leaned on him. She was tired. Jace moved his arm and wrapped it around her shoulder giving her access to his chest. He played with her hair. The tension in that room was thick with underlying feelings and words left unsaid. Angel, Clary really wanted Jace to kiss her. Does it need to be mentioned that Jace felt the same way. Clary reached up and touched Jace's cheek, turning his face to look at her. She thought maybe that would be enough to get him to kiss her.

"Clary, I… please. I can't do this.

"Why not?"

"Because, you're with _him._" Jace never liked Sebastian; maybe because he caught Clary's eye before Jace was able to stake his claim.

"No I'm not. He… he broke up with me." Clary looked away from Jace. She pulled away from his grasp.

"I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"Of course you didn't know." Clary stood up, abruptly, and began to pace. "Every time you come and see me it's about you. It's never about me. Damn it Jace, I swear. It's like I have no one. Look at this house. It's empty, Jace. No one."

Jace stood and went to her, trying to console her. "Angel, Clary. You have me."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"Then why won't you kiss me?" Clary deadpanned. She knew Jace felt the way she did.

"Because I can't." Jace yelled.

"Because you think I'll leave just like everybody else. You think I'll turn my back on you as soon as you screw up." Clary whispered.

"They always do." Jace whispered back.

"I'm not them Jace. I've never turned you away. Even when you pissed me off, I was there. Jace, _you're_ turning your back on me. _You're_ letting me down. And you think I'm giving up on you. If think I'll leave, then you're wrong because I'm the one that's still holding on." Clary pushes Jace's hands away and runs upstairs.

Jace follows her. "Clary that's not fair. You never said anything."

"Jace, you know me well enough to know that I wasn't going to. You could've figured it out but you were too busy with your own problems." She stops at the top of the stairs, Jace only two steps behind her. "It's okay. I promise."

"It's not okay." Jace grabs her hand before she can turn away. He climbs the last two stairs and holds her to him. "Angel, I want to love you so badly, but I can't." he whispers. "What about college? What about when we start exploring our careers? Everything is going to pull as apart."

Clary tries to push him way, but Jace won't budge. "We're going to the same college, ass hole. How could you not have known that? You're going for foreign communications; I'm going for foreign languages. We'll be in the same department. The only thing that's going to pull us apart is your doubts, and if that's all you're going to do, then don't kiss me. Leave. Walk away with what little you still have."

Jace looks like this is all news to him. "Clary. I'm not walking away."

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><p><strong>One Shot? Or Continue? <strong>

**Review. I need to know. **


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